to whom it may concern
tides turn and maybe you lied to me or to yourself. the moments we had will soon be gone and you'll turn around another one. resembles her. resembles me. an icky feeling in my heart at being so replaceable.

but how is she in your bed? does she make you come like i do? does she make you cry like i do? do you whisper in her ear how sexy her hair is? does she grip your neck when she eats you out? does she ride your fingers like i do? do you stumble on which name to remember? do the faces blur together? is she just as replaceable? i am sure you've asked that to yourself so many times. but you are so afraid to be alone. a clone that leaves you a little bit empty inside is better it seems

It’ll be in your head. It’ll be lost in mine. we've been ripped at the seams, intertwined no more. What’s been said is lost, gone in the mist of a memory of sort. labored breathing, a panic settling in. gasping for air. sitting on steps, where we previously confessed our love for each other. confusion muddles my vision. cars leisurely pass by us. unaware of the dread forming between two people. if they knew, they would speed away, far away as they could from this perch. lights sparkle from the reflection of headlights in my tears. every other word creates a little crack in my heart. a weight settles. a feeling that i'm sure will never leave me. you said this was for the best, but i'm not sure i believe you.

It'll be in your head, it'll be lost in mine. what she did, what she said, you'll be helpless to the time loops. her presence still so evident in your eyes. the wind breaks but i can still hardly hear you. shaky hands give back what is not mine. two books; one you wanted back with a handful of photos us. polaroids of lovers smiling into the lens and subsequent shots, unable to keep our hands off each other. and the other you said was for me but i couldn't bear to keep it. choking on the words, i ask if you could get rid of these?

you said you needed to heal, i am sure that is true. i am sure the words that were falling out of your mouth was a line you rehearsed so well. in your mirror. to the grocery store. mumbling what you hoped would pass off as something you believed. i think you believed. but what i think you meant, is that you aren't ready to heal.

your patterns are so obvious, a painful display of what you are trying to run away from. caught up in a riptide of your own memories. you always find yourself where you hoped you wouldn't be. i see that you're breaking, a victim to your own ether, those memories won't live on with me anymore. i hope you can bear them alone. but i am not sure if you can. It'll be in your head, it'll be lost in mine

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